Forgiveness

To my first companion -

Dear Elder -

You may have been surprised when you got to the MTC in Brazil, and found out that you did not have a companion, and had to be re-assigned. I don't know if you ended up being a "solo" missionary, or if you were re-assigned to a three-way companionship, or if it was such a smooth transition that you did not even know you missed me as a companion. I truly hope it was the last one, and that my absence in no way impacted your ability to learn to share The Gospel. I apologize for missing out on the spiritual experiences we could have shared, for the insight we could have gained from each other, and for the friendship we would have shared. Nothing I can do would ever make up for that difference in our lives.

To my subsequent potential companions -

I truly hope that your mission was not impacted by my absence. I was told in blessings that you would not be, and I trust The Lord that is the case. Either way, I am truly sorry for my absence. It was completely my fault, and I apologize for my actions which could have impacted you negatively.

To the people of Joao Pessoa -

It will always sadden me that I was not able to go and serve in your area. I wanted to; I wished I could; and I worked as hard as I could to get there. Ultimately, my bad decisions made it so I did not ever go. I hope to be able to serve, hopefully in your area, if not; somewhere else. I truly hope that the missionaries that replaced me served even better than I would have. I pray that the gospel will have spread, and filled your hearts as I would have worked hard to do. I'm sorry.




These may seem out of character for this blog; they may not; I don't know. All I know is that I felt a need to do this. If I have harmed, hurt, or otherwise affected you in a negative way; your apology is coming.
Don't worry; I'm not dying or anything... just working to be a better, more Christlike person by repairing all of the wrongs that I possibly can, and let God take the rest.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ; Amen.

We all just need to take a deep breath sometimes.

So... I noticed something today. I think I understand one of the reasons atheists are sometimes so agitated by Christians. I was looking at a scientific picture, which was absolutely gorgeous by the way, and a comment on it went thusly:
"Glorious work of God, for us Humans to appreciate His greatness. The Creator of Space & Time to infinity!"
Now... those of you who read my blog frequently understand that I believe very firmly in God. I have a testimony, and am not afraid to share it. This blog is devoted entirely to my testimony, and sharing it. However, this comment.... well, something just doesn't quite seem right about it. I've noticed that there are Christians out there who refuse to even consider scientific explanations, for fear that it will disprove God, Heaven, and the afterlife somehow. This comment feels like that. It also feels somewhat pushy, and like it was just asking for a atheist to attack it and say something derogatory about God, or a belief in Him, so they can get in a fight about religion vs atheism/science.

Here is my problem with that kind of mindset: More and more, atheists are beginning to hate Christians. The predominant comments I see on stories about Christians being murdered are people applauding it. I'm seeing people say terrible things about our General Authorities. If you mention you are against same gender marriage (which, incidentally, I am), if you mention you are against abortion, (again, me too), or are against pornography (can I raise my hand any higher on that one?!), if you mention that you don't believe in evolution (eh... actually on the fence about that one... I'm starting to believe that we just don't have all the answers yet. Go to the temple thinking about it; and you'll see what I mean), or any of the other religion related hot-button items, you get attacked viciously. It's like there is no way to even comprehend that you could possibly have beliefs that go against the mainstream.

I do think that part of this is simply is the gathering of dark forces prior to the second coming of The Lord. That is fact. It was prophesied by multiple sources within the Bible and the Book of Mormon, and it is clearly happening today.

However, I also believe that part of it has to do with the way in which Christians often respond to attacks, or perceived attacks, on their belief system. Rather than seeing if the other side has any legitimacy, there is immediate reaction strongly against the discord of their beliefs. I think it comes down to the brain (I would, wouldn't I?) I think it has to do with cognitive dissonance. Rather than resolving the dissonance by exploring further, and finding common ground, most just go straight to their established beliefs, and violently shut out any opposing view. Saying this, however, I do realize that it is a two way street. I think that atheists do the same thing. This is one of the reasons people react so strongly, they just go with their gut instinct reaction, which is a externalization of their strong emotions. With the relative anonymity of social media and online presence, I think this is happening increasingly because people don't feel like they need to filter out what would be extremely uncomfortable in a face to face interaction, because they won't see how it affects the receiving individual.

So... the "so what?" of this rather long post is this: Next time someone says or posts something that makes you feel upset, violated, or otherwise uncomfortable... give yourself a second or two. Think about it from their perspective. Try to understand why they came to that conclusion. Most people looking for a fight are expecting a poorly thought out, illogical, and pre-canned response, and are waiting with their own poorly thought out, illogical pre-canned version. Even if they aren't looking for a fight; if you give them one, odds are they will get defensive and revert to the prior mentioned version of argument. If you surprise them by showing thought and consideration... well, you might just find yourself having a conversation rather than an argument, and one or both of you may actually get somewhere.

I also want to testify that I do know that there is a God. There is a afterlife, and there are consequences to our actions and words in this lifetime. God cares who we become. He wants us to be good people who make good choices and follow His commandments. Sometimes it is not easy to understand why we need to follow a particular commandment. I get that. I can also testify that if He gives us a commandment, if we follow it, and are seeking reasons behind the commandment, He will reveal them to us. I have found a lot of peace in some things, and strengthened my belief in some of the less popular commandments by doing so. I testify that there truly are good and evil things in this world, and that evil is increasing in strength. Satan will continue his attacks, and continue recruiting any who will listen to his siren's song, but he will never support his followers.
Follow God, follow the prophets. If you are reading the Book of Mormon, listening/reading to General Conference talks, working on keeping God's commandments, and praying daily; you will not be led astray.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ; amen.

God is real

I believe in God, The Eternal Father, and in His son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. This is the first Article of Faith of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I would like to add my voice behind this. He lives. He is real. He loves you, hears your prayers, and wants to help you. He loves you far more than you can imagine, but I know that you can feel His love in your life. God loves us no matter what, even if we sin. He wants to heal us, He wants us to repent and return to Him, not for His benefit, but for ours. He loves us enough that He even sent His only begotten son to earth to atone for our sins. Jesus died for each of us. That is a concept that is hard to understand, and I don't fully understand yet, but he died for my sins. Specifically. He knows what I have done wrong, he knows where I fail, where I fall short, and where I lack. He then customizes my plan of happiness to include what I need to overcome these aforementioned problems and sins. He knows my name, and He knows yours. I testify of this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Revelation still happens today

There are moments in my life where I have felt strongly that I have received direction from Heavenly Father. One way I personally receive revelation is through dreams. When I have a dream that involves revelation, there is a different feeling than my normal dreams.
Often, the dreams that involve revelation also involve metaphors. Sometimes, the dreams are a little more direct. Several years ago, I had a dream. I was in a large city, and there were multiple monsters attacking the city. They were ultimately coming for me. I ran away, and hid. I was far away, in a different city, watching the monsters destroy lives, and ruin the city. They didn't know where I was, but then I realized I couldn't run forever, and they would eventually find me. I stood tall, and let them know where I was, and they all came to me. I let them attack me, I didn't fight back. They brought me to their leader, who brought me to one of our LDS temples. We were a bit of a distance off, but could clearly see it. The leader of the monsters was loudly proclaiming all of my sins to the group, telling them all why I deserved to die. Suddenly, the clouds around the temple parted, and it was bathed in light. I felt a strong impression that I needed to pray for forgiveness and help. I feel to my knees, and prayed. After I prayed, I stood up, broke my bounds, and faced the leader of the monsters. He attacked me, but it no longer had an effect on me. The clouds over me parted, the sun came through, my words destroyed the leader, and the monsters fled from me, terrified.

At this time, there were several things I was struggling with. However, I felt that if I would attend the temple frequently, I would be given greater power. Looking back, it truly did. I testify that God gives us revealed truth in many ways. He will help us understand what He needs us to do, and will bless us as we follow Him. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

One month wrap-up

One month in, and so far, it is going about how I expected in some ways, and not in others. I was expecting to run out of ideas, and sure enough, there have been some challenging nights where I couldn't quite come up with a idea I felt was "good enough". I've only missed one night so far, and that was just one of those crazy busy days that I got to 12:30am, was laying in bed, and realized I hadn't blogged yet. At that point, I just shrugged my shoulders, and went to sleep.

This has been a growing experience for me. I have had realizations and made gospel connections that I may not have otherwise. I do plan to continue to blog daily, although I need to find a way to generate ideas, and maybe bank ideas ahead.

Thank you to anyone who is continuing to read this, I appreciate you bearing with me as I try to express my beliefs.

I do believe in God, and I believe in the power of sharing testimony. I believe both the person sharing and the person receiving can be blessed. I hope to continue to grow spiritually, and hopefully this will be a great year!
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Scientific evidence of evolution does not preclude the existence of God

As a scientist, one challenge often faced when you believe in God is that scientific inquiry indicates a need to remove any predisposed notions, and purely look at the facts. Facts from biology and evolutionary science often seem at odds with the concept of a supreme being, as there is ample evidence that we did evolve. There is also a large amount of evidence of the big bang, as well as the nature of the formation of the Earth, including periods stretching over billions of years of nebulae activity, collisions, heating, cooling, climate change, volcanic activity, condensation, and formation of plants, trees, and animals through evolution. However, proof of scientific facts don't disprove God.

One specific challenge that is often presented to Christianity is the mismatched concept of the creation occurring in only 7,000 years, based on a belief held that a "day" to God is 1,000 years. Peter 3:8 is often used as the source for the comparison of God’s time to man’s, however, if you read the scripture, Peter does not say that “The direct comparison of one day of God’s is 1,000 years to man” He says “a day to God is like 1,000 years to man.” (King James translation) He isn’t giving a specific translation of time, he is explaining that a day for God is a really long time to man. In his day, the concept of a million, or even a billion years wasn't understood by most of the general populace, if even understood or comprehended by even the most educated of philosophers. To further clarify this point, we can turn to the Book of Mormon. Alma 40:8 explains that time is not measured to God, but only to man.
Taken in this light, Genesis 1 (or Moses 2, depending on what you are reading) suddenly makes more sense with the timelines which science has uncovered. “One day” means a really long time to man, not a specific time frame. Seven days could very well be 7 billion years, 8 billion years, or 20 trillion years. The bottom line is that scientific minded Christians don’t really believe that the earth was created in 7,000 years, and can be open to concepts of creation that supersede general belief.

Regarding evolution, multiple times throughout the scriptures, there is mention that we are created from “the dust of the Earth” and “to dust we shall return”. How is saying that particulate matter was formed together to create man any different from saying that ammonia and methane combined to create the basis for life? Think of how a prophet of old, in a world where such chemicals had not yet been discovered by the science of his time, would describe the process of vapors combining to form a life if shown to him by God. Now, I don't understand exactly how the creation of man occurred. However, I strongly believe we are truly sons and daughters of God. I don't pretend to understand that concept, it is one of those things I simply take on faith.

The bottom line is truly that we do not know exactly how the scriptures match up with science. The automatic exclusion of religion from scientific inquiry is wrong however. Nothing in science disproves the existence of God. The argument that God was somehow created by ancient man to explain why it was OK to die is flawed as there is no hard evidence to back it up. This concept is simply a theory created by those who do not want to face the reality that God is real, and want to live their lives without having to answer to a higher authority. There are, however, multiple volumes of scripture, corroborated by cohorts of their times that do document and confirm the visitation, power, and existence of God, as well as the ministry of his son, Jesus Christ.

Atheists, if you are right, and there is no God, and death is the end, and my consciousness will simply cease to exist, I will never know the difference. I will have lived my life happily believing that there is a ultimate purpose, that I had a goal beyond simply survival. I will die with a smile on my face, fully expecting to see God… and then I will see nothing, and will no longer exist.

However, if I am right, you will have lived your life in defiance to God’s commandments, refusing to acknowledge the higher power which protects, provides, and guides you. You will die fearfully, frantically trying to hold on to every last breath, terrified that everything is all coming to an end. But it won’t. Now, the next portion, I have considered multiple times. Once, I thought that the realization of life after death would bring sorrow, and shame that signs were ignored and missed throughout life. However, I have begun to come to the conclusion that for an atheist to die and meet God would be the most wonderful thing ever for that person. Think of the joy of realizing that life does not end, but continues. Think of how happy they will be to discover that they do get to keep living, they get to keep experiencing joy, emotion, happiness, friends, family; life. Think of how exciting seeing a loving God would be. I do think that there will be sadness at a wasted life as they realize that they should have known all along that the afterlife is real, but they will be so happy to be home, that it will hardly matter.

I testify that death is not the end. I have felt and experienced multiple things that prove this to me. I know that life continues. I testify that if you are sealed with proper authority, your marriage also continues. I am so excited to spend eternity with my sweetheart. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Sacrifice is worth the cost

Sometimes, in order to follow God, we have to give things up. Often, it is something that we think that we really need. Usually it is something we really want. However, when you find the courage and fortitude to give whatever it is up, you will find that your life is genuinely better off because it is gone. Now, I'm being vague on purpose, as we each will have our own set of things we need to give up. Sometimes, they are clear, like a direct violation of a commandment. Other times, it can be less clear what needs to change. This is where God and the Holy Spirit come in. If you pray to God with real intent, He will show you what you need to change. You will be more aware of your faults, but not in a self deprecating way. You will see the root causes of these faults, and the behaviors which are supporting and propagating them. When you begin to see these things, pray to see what needs to change, and God will show you. I promise that no matter what you need to change, no matter how hard, God will bless you with whatever help you require. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

We can do things that seem impossible when God helps us

There are things in our lives that we can change. There are things in our lives that we cannot. Sometimes the things we cannot change seem to overwhelm us, and take our entire lives focus away from everything else. These are often weaknesses that we have that lead us away from our Heavenly Father.

I have been feeling some interesting things about weakness lately. I have some things that I am struggling to overcome (as we all do), and recently I started feeling something different that I never had before. We try so hard to change ourselves, yet we are weak, short sighted, and cannot see the end from the beginning. God can. He knows why we are in the state we are in, who we are, and ultimately, what our true destiny is. He sees us as we really are, not mortal beings, but immortal Gods and Goddesses in embryo, if we but make the right decisions.

I was praying about one of my weaknesses recently, and I felt something strange that I hadn't ever considered deeply. I felt that I needed to stop fighting, stop struggling, stop trying to fix it on my own. Only God has the power to truly heal, to remove weakness, and to eliminate sin. All of my efforts have done nothing but make it worse. This does not excuse us from judgement, it does not mean we can sin blissfully and expect to be saved. I am not sure what it means, but I feel strongly that it is right. I feel that by fighting on my own, I am doing nothing more than amplifying the problem, focusing on it too much, and ignoring the simplicity of the solution.

I testify that God loves us. He wants to help us, if we only will ask. I promise that there are no depths of sin beyond the reach of the Atonement. God can and will heal you if you turn to Him. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of the world; Amen.

Debt restricts our ability to be Christlike

I feel strongly that one of the reasons that we are advised to avoid debt is because it restricts us. In the scriptures, specifically in the Book of Mormon, the prophets advise us that we need to be generous with what we have, and if we don't have enough, we should at least want to give. Otherwise, we are squandering what was never really ours in the first place. The scriptures point out that everything we own is a gift from God. Now, if you don't have room in your budget to give to others, you are not necessarily sinning. You may be in need of receiving from others. However, if your lack of financial freedom is due to poor choices that have caused you to be in mountains of debt, do you think you are really excused from the need to give what you have to others? How would you feel if you needed something that someone else had, but then they traded that for something they couldn't share, but was for their own pleasure? Would you feel like that person cared about you? Would it feel even slightly sincere if they said "I'm sorry! It's not that I don't want to help you.... But I can't help you AND afford the payment for my new big screen!" Now, I strongly suspect that most of us would not be this cruel. However, by taking on unnecessary debt, we are tying up resources which we should be using to build God's kingdom, and serve others. Not only that, but debt is a cruel taskmaster. It demands what we can pay, when we can pay it. Simply having debt causes an increased level of anxiety and stress. This also hampers our ability to be Christian and show love for others. 

As a financial professional, I see people in all different income brackets with loads of debt. I also see the opposite, where people manage their finances well. I can testify that the people who are more reasonable with their spending tend to be more relaxed and happy. They don't worry about their financial future because they already have savings and plans. They also usually have more money, but not necessarily higher incomes. I have seen people who make 10,000+ per month who are so over their heads in debt that we couldn't lend to them to replace their broken down vehicle. On the other hand, I've seen people making less than 36,000 per year with 10,000 or more in savings, and no debt. Guess which one has the 800 credit score, and which one is in the 600s. There are reasons God has the commandments that He does. They are for both our temporal and spiritual protection. 

If you have, please give to those who need. If you are bound by debt, work to get out of it. There are professionals like me who can and will help you, often for free. The majority of it is education, once you know a few tricks, and apply self control, you will find God's help, and can find your way out of debt, and into a state where you can freely serve others. I testify this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

In God the Eternal Father, and in His son, Jesus Christ

Like the title says, I believe in God. I believe He is real. I believe He cares about us, and that we are His children. Jesus is His son, and our savior. He is also our friend and brother. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen

Testimonies and Discipleship

It is a challenging thought to consider whether one can truly be considered a disciple of Christ. Yes, we can believe in Christ, we can read his words, we can attend church, do all the surface things. But how do we know when we are actually a disciple? There are different levels of discipleship, ranging from a faint belief that Jesus was a good prophet, to a deep conviction that causes a entire change of life, a change of heart, where your will is swallowed up in the will of God. What does that mean? 

I feel that it has a lot to do with our love for God. I myself have been on different parts of the continuum of discipleship. Currently, I feel like I am higher than I ever have been, but I don't know how high that would be compared to anyone else. (I don't think it matters where I am in comparison to others really, but that's a different post). I know that as I have worked to share my testimony of Jesus Christ, I have gained more of a testimony. I have also felt closer as I have studied the scriptures, listened to prophets, and attended the temple. I think a mark of discipleship can be measured in the way you observe and treat others. If you truly desire their welfare, and see mostly good in others, I think you are on the right path. If you are willing to give things up and deal with personal sacrifice for others, I think you are well on your way to full discipleship. 

Overall, the closer you draw to God, the closer He will draw to you. I testify this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

We are all in this together

Life is about many things to many people. There are some things that life need not be about. Life should not be about being right. It should not be about winning. It should not be about being richer, stronger, thinner, better looking, or just plain "better" than someone else.
Our lives should also not be about ourselves. Truly, the way Jesus taught was that we need to forget ourselves, and serve others. Sometimes this means biting our lip, not saying what we want to. Sometimes it is just about treating our families with love when it is hard to. Always it should be about treating strangers with love. Everyone is going through something. You may not know what it is, and they are certainly not showing it. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you show them the love and respect that they deserve. And they deserve every bit of love and respect you are capable of showing.
I invite you to be a little kinder, be more willing to compromise, treat others fairly, respect and understand that everyone is human, and show them love. You will be surprised at the results. I can testify from my own life that this is the case. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen

We separate ourselves from the gospel and Christ with sin

I was just listening to a talk from the 1985 October General Conference. In this talk, Elder Theodore M. Burton discusses his role on a special committee designed to assist those who are returning to The Church from excommunication (being formally removed from the roles of The Church, losing certain privileges and rights). He discusses the pattern which he uses to determine whether or not someone has sufficiently repented enough to return to full fellowship within The Church. One of the things he discusses is the need for mercy and love with such individuals. He talks about the impact upon the lives of the families of those who have committed such deep sins that they would need to be removed from The Church. Not only have these families had to deal with the stinging pain of the sin, they also now have to deal with the recourse that surrounds excommunication. Overall, his talk was one of love, forgiveness, and repentance and rebirth.

One thing kept coming to mind for me during this talk was the fact that while there are those who commit such sins that require this kind of action, there are many who commit lesser sins, lose their own faith, and remove themselves from The Church. I wonder if this is part of God's plan. As people move away from the Gospel, they stop progressing. They no longer feel the spirit, they no longer are learning things of eternal importance. So much of what we learn in The Church is heavily dependent upon the Holy Ghost. Two people can sit in the same lesson, and learn two entirely different things. A third may learn nothing at all, and a fourth may learn something so personally important as to change their entire life from that point on. This is how God works. He does not pour a bucket of knowledge upon us, it is little by little, piece by piece, here a little and there a little. Those who leave The Church of their own accord are no longer in situations where they can easily gain this knowledge directly from Heaven. I am not saying they cannot learn things, they obviously still can, but the bulk of spiritual growth that occurs in a spiritual setting must happen just in that: a spiritual setting. The reason I wonder if this is God's plan is because when someone removes themselves because of sin, and continues to sin more and more gravely, they are under greater condemnation the more knowledge they have. God judges based on the light and knowledge we have received in this lifetime, and will not hold us accountable for a law we did not know we were breaking. If someone has lost the spirit, and can no longer receive revelation, they may not necessarily know they are breaking further commandments, and therefore, are not under so great a condemnation as one who knows full well that they sin against the word of God.

As such individuals find their way back to God, they are brought to an awareness of their sins, and they are able to repent. Yes, that repentance will absolutely be hell. It will be challenging, and they will go through a lot of pain as a result, but they will ultimately repent and return, far stronger than they ever were.

I testify that no matter how far you think you have gone, how low you think you are, how far gone you think you are, how deeply you feel you have sinned, or how strongly you feel you have rebelled, there is absolutely hope. God is willing to forgive if you are willing to repent. I will warn that it will be hard, but that it will absolutely be worth it. It will be worth every tear, every bit of pain, sorrow, sadness, remorse, loss, or sacrifice. It will absolutely be worth everything you need to go through. In the words of Alma: "Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisit and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy." Alma 36:21
I testify of this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

for more reading, go here and here

Music has a huge impact on our lives

I have often wondered why it is that music is one of the most powerful emotional tools in the world. Very few things will change the emotional setting of a moment quicker than music. I  I have found in my life that the more hymns I listen to, the more I feel the spirit. For the last month, when I have been stumped as to what I need to write about for this blog, I have turned on some hymns. Within minutes, I have an idea, which leads to more ideas. I have been doing this for several years, not just with this blog. Whenever I need to prepare a lesson, prepare to go to the temple, know I will be giving a priesthood blessing, am preparing a talk, or just need to feel better about life, I listen to hymns. I have a few favorites, and am gaining new ones every General Conference session, and every time I hear a spiritual song I haven't heard before. Here are some of my favorites:

April 2011: More Holiness Give Me
October 2012: Does The Journey Seem Long?
October 2009: Lord Dismiss us with Thy Blessing (The harmonies in this one are spine tingling...)
October 2009: O May My Soul Commune with Thee (Straight from the hymn book, but four parts as sung by none other than the Mormon Tabernacle choir... breathtaking)
April 2013: Tell Me The Stories of Jesus (I never noticed that it's a waltz until I heard this version)
October 2011: I am a Child of God (And you will feel it during this arrangement)
April 2012: Jesus Savior, Pilot Me
April 2012: Lead Kindly Light (Listen to the preceding talk first... Elder Jeffrey R Holland is amazing.)
April 2011: I Know That My Savior Loves me
October 2012: Love One Another (What?! It has another verse?!)
And finally; April 2008: Joseph Smith's First Prayer

You can go here  to find some of your own favorites, or to listen to some of mine. (I just learned about this part of the lds.org website owned by The Church, and I see some serious downloading in my future...) I plan to download every song available on that website, and listen. I know I will find even more musical "companions" I invite you to use this resource as well. It's free, it's legal, it's amazing.

I would like to invite you to listen to at least one song on my list. I testify you will feel the spirit. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

God hears and answers prayers

In this world, there are many challenges. We all deal with our own set of them. One thing we have in common is the fact that we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father. The wonderful thing about this is the fact that we have been given a way to obtain guidance from God. Prayer is a simple, yet powerful way to obtain answers from God. Sometimes it is hard to know when you have received an answer. It's not like some little icon pops up and says "You've got revelation!" Often it comes in the form of remembrance, usually something you read, or something you heard that was inspired. Sometimes revelation can come as a feeling, impression, or a vague sense of something happening. Rarely, God speaks directly. Sometimes answers to prayers can come in dreams. The most important thing is that God does answer prayer. As this is the case, it is essential to ask. Pray daily. Pray over everything that is important to you, and God will bless you, I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

God sometimes lightens, and sometimes removes burdens

Burdens are a part of mortality. Sometimes, after much faith, God removes them. Sometimes, He just lightens the load. As mortals, this can be confusing. We find ourselves crying "But God, I don't want it to hurt less, I want it to stop hurting me at all! Why?" As mortals, it is hard to see the reasons, sometimes we never understand why we had to go through something, or watch a loved one suffer. Often we find ourselves wondering when it will be over. We need to have patience and accept The Lord's time. We need to be as the people of Alma:
"And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord." (Mosiah 24:15)
If we have faith, God will sometimes remove burdens, but not before it fits in His timetable. As hard as this is, we need to accept this. Sometimes all we can do is ask Him for comfort that there will be a eventual relief. President Eyring talks about this in depth in his October 2012 talk, "Where is the Pavilion"
If you are not familiar with that talk, I encourage you to read it.
I testify that God can remove any burden, whether it be sin, pain, sorrow, infirmity, bondage, or whatever you are yoked with. I hope for this in my life, as I have great need for this. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I am a child of God, and families are forever

I am grateful to have the knowledge that I am a child of God. I talked about this in a Facebook post several months ago. There is a song with the same title as my post today, and I used to think it was just a kid's song (it is in our Children's songbook), but the older I get, the more I realize it has far more relevance than that. "I am a child of God, and He has sent me here, has given me an earthly home, with parents kind and dear. So lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way, teach me all that I must do, to live with Him someday." We truly do need God to walk with us if we ever hope to return to Him someday. As someone who is terribly imperfect, I can testify that when I feel the influence of the Spirit, I am far more likely to choose the right.
There is another childhood hymn that I have always loved, and as I grow, I continue to love. It is called "Families can be together forever". When I was younger, I always thought of it in terms of my mother, father, and sisters. I still believe that is true, but I also realize that it now includes my wonderful wife, Kimberly. I love the fact that we can be together forever, that it is Heavenly Father's plan that we are. As it says in the song, "I always want to be with my own family; and The Lord has shown me how I can.." I often will replace "own family" with "dear Kimberly"

I testify that you can live with your loved ones forever, as well as with God, for you truly are His son or daughter. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The Godhead is made up of three distinct beings

At church, as part of our three hour block, I attend one of three meetings for young men, as I am one of their adult leaders. Today I was with the 16 to 18 year olds, the Priests. We were discussing the Godhead.

Most Christian religions believe that the Godhead is a single being, the Holy Trinity. This belief stems from the Nicene Creed. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I believe that God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three distinct beings. Surprisingly, this is often one of the reasons we are deemed to not be Christians. 

Now, I want to carefully not tread on any toes. However, there are multiple accounts in multiple scriptures that support the fact that there are three beings, not one. The Creed was created by a group of men who basically were trying to establish what was and what was not Christian. The scriptural records were recorded by prophets of God, and followed actual events that indicated a plurality rather than a singularity. One of the most powerful of these scriptures comes from our doctrine. It is the account of the first vision. I invite you, if you are reading, to read the next part out loud. Trust me, it changes how the whole thing feels: 

"I saw a pillar of light, exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me. When this light rested upon me, I saw two personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other, and said: This is my beloved son. Hear him." 

(Joseph Smith History, V16)

This is something we teach our missionaries to memorize so they can declare it without hesitation. It is a powerful reminder that God and Jesus Christ visited the earth. There were two distinct beings, and they spoke to Joseph Smith. After this, Joseph's entire life became focused on bringing forth the gospel of Jesus Christ in the form of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He lived and died because of this vision. He was only a young boy at the time, but this so influenced the rest of his life that his entire life became focused on a single goal; to restore the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

I testify that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. Thomas S. Monson is our prophet today. Joseph Smith saw God the father and Jesus Christ the Redeemer. You can feel the Holy Ghost in your life, you may be feeling it right now. It is the warm, peaceful feeling that may be causing you to tear up. If you are, and want to know more, contact me. I will help arrange a meeting with some wonderful young men or young women who will teach you more. God lives. He loves you. He knows your name, He knows what you are going through, and what pain you feel. He wants you to succeed. My entire purpose in this blog is that I will hopefully help someone find Him, and that person will be able to be saved in His kingdom. I have felt the redeeming power of Jesus Christ in my life, and I testify that you can as well. I promise that whatever doubts, fears, or misconceptions you have will be swallowed up in the peace you will find as you learn more about Him. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

 (for further reading, go here)

The secret to happiness is consistency

One of the things that will destroy a plan faster than anything else is a lack of consistency. It doesn't matter how well planned, prepared, supplied, tracked, or even executed a plan is, if you don't repeat the desired behavior with consistency, it will ultimately be a waste of time. At the worst, it may even cause you to despise the behavior you are trying to make a part of your life. At the best, you will feel like a failure, and just keep banging your head against a proverbial wall.
This really goes for anything, spiritual or temporal. God has even commanded that we are consistent in our efforts. "No man can serve two masters, for he will hate the one, and serve the other." The harder you try to split your efforts, or even not consistently do behaviors, the less progress you make. When you are not progressing, you are really only serving one master, and he is not the one you want to serve.
I also testify that if you work to be consistent in gospel actions, God will bless your efforts, and help you move forward. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Sometimes life can be hard, but you just have to press on

Having a testimony can be hard. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and keep going in the direction you know is right. Follow God. Pray for help, and even though there will be a delay in the answer much of the time, He will answer and help you in what ever way you need.
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen

God wants us to love ourselves

I think one of the  hardest things for us to do as mortals is to love ourselves. If you think about it, you are the only one who knows all of your faults, you know everything you do wrong on a regular basis, you see all of your mistakes, and you see all of your bad qualities. Because of this, it is easy to have your thoughts overwhelmed by negativity aimed squarely at yourself. I know I struggle with this. One of the things I struggle with the most is my weight. Last night, I even had a dream that I had some guy belittling me because I was heavy, and basically telling me how worthless I was  because of it. When I woke up; I realized something: My dreams are one of the few places where I am completely alone (unless God is working through my dreams to reveal something to me). This dream was clearly not that type of dream. I was thinking about it, and the thing that bothered me the most is that the things that random strong, muscular, thin guy in my dream was saying to me were things I say to myself inside my mind. I don't actively belittle myself on a regular basis, but I certainly passively do.
Based on several scriptures, as well as several General Conference talks; this is not OK. Elder Wirthlin gave a talk during the October 2001 General Conference where he talked about working to improve yourself, while at the same time ensuring that you accept where you are. Elder Scott gave another one a few years later where he declared that we need to love the bodies we are in; if we have something we want to change and can for health reasons, that is OK; but anything else is inappropriate. We are temples to the Holy Spirit of God; we shouldn't be belittling ourselves, even mentally. This goes for everything we can belittle ourselves for, from thoughts, actions, features, even to perceptions. We need to love ourselves.
It is extremely hard to do this, and I am far from mastering this, but I am working on it.

I think one of the reasons we need to love ourselves is because God commands us to love everyone. He does not say "Love everyone... but if you hate yourself; that is juust fine, just make sure you show everyone else how much you like them."  Also, in Doctrine and Covenants section 19, Christ talks about the fact that He suffered and died for us. We are told just how valuable our souls are; that it was worth having a God come down and sacrifice Himself for us. These are not small things.

I invite everyone to try to be a little kinder to yourself. Show yourself the same care and understanding you extend to others. Forgive yourself. Tell yourself you are handsome, beautiful, loved, kind, I don't care. But most of all... tell yourself "I love you." It is surprisingly hard to say, and harder even to believe. But try anyway. God loves you, you'd be in good company if you love yourself. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Physical fitness can help spiritual fitness

I was thinking today about the fact that our mind, bodies, and souls are so closely connected. Growing up, my mom would often talk about the fact that we need to have some certain things working together in order to be happy. I have often noticed that life goes best for me when I am working to improve multiple areas of my life. I have noticed that it is easier to be more spiritual when I am exercising physically. I was thinking why this would be, and I am realizing that this is not an uncommon theme. Elder Kleinfelter spoke about this in the last conference. Elder Scott a few years ago as well. One of the reasons why this is so important is because the mind, body, and spirit are one, at least as far as this life is concerned. Therefore what is good for one is good for the other. I also think it has a lot to do with the constant need for progress in our lives. It was explained to me once that we are like someone riding a bike uphill. If you stop pedaling, you don't stop, you usually fall over and lose progress. Life is like this. You can only move, you can never stand still. If you are not working upwards and forwards, you are headed backwards and down.
So make reasonable goals. Keep them. Work for progress, and be happy with yourself. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

In prophets on this earth today

Short post again tonight, still not feeling great. It is interesting to listen to General Conference talks from the last 20 or so years, and realize just how much the prophets knew was coming, and how much they know what is going on right now. They are not a secluded group of old men who live in a dark cave, cut off from the rest of the world. They are quite informed and up to date. Same with the general authorities who are sisters. I was listening to a talk by Sheri Dew about women and the priesthood from 2001. It was surprisingly applicable to today.
I testify that prophets do live on this earth today, and it is important that we listen to them. Don't be caught unsure if the question of "what have the prophets said most recently?" is asked. Keep up to date, it is so easy. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Commandments are for our benefit

Not feeling too great today, so going for a shorter post... Actually ended up going home from work I felt so wonderful earlier today..

Listening to General Conference today, April 2001 specifically, it is interesting to hear that a lot of the themes have not changed. Be self reliant. Avoid pornography. Help others in need. Be Christlike. Do not judge. Be frugal. Honor your priesthood. Do your Duty.
There is a reason these themes come up again and again. God wants us to understand that we have a strong need to follow His commandments. It is not because He simply says "It is so!", but because His commandments all have roots in our well being. Being frugal allows us to avoid debt. Being Christlike helps our life, and others' lives to be easier. It seems that every time God commands something of us, He is ready to bless us. Also, His commandments simply bless. What a wonderful concept, that we will be blessed simply by following God, and then He will pour out additional blessings upon us.

I am grateful for our loving and living God. I am grateful that He loves us enough to give us commandments, as well as positive and negative consequences. I say this in the name of Christ, Amen.

We can be as the Samaritan on the road to Damascus

I'm listening to the April 2001 General Conference, and, as always, it is wonderful. President Monson gives a wonderful talk about compassion. He relates an account in which someone is in Salt Lake City, in a terrible situation because they do not have any money, don't know anyone, and do not have any medication which allows them to sleep, because of the speed at which they had to leave their home in Boston. They have not been able to sleep for days, and are barely coherent as a result. A elderly couple sees the need, and talks to this individual. They then pay, in advance, for food for the next week, as well as lodging. They also help obtain the required medical care, so that this person could heal. They were truly as the good Samaritan spoken of in the Bible. 

Now, we are not all so affluent that we can afford such grand gestures. I would love to be, so I could do things like that. However, each of us can do something when we are given the opportunity. President Monson talks about the fact that we all know people who could benefit from our kindness, and if we pray for opportunities, God will share them with us. 

Sometimes, simply caring for our families is what we need to do. Often, we need to be kinder to those we love. One thing I am working on is stopping arguments before they start. As soon as Kimberly (my wife) and I start getting into a heated discussion, I start introspectively analyzing it from my perspective. I ask myself: "What is the thing I want to do the least right now? Why don't I want to do it? It it because of pride?" I have found, at least in my experience, that it usually is pride which is stopping me from acting the way God would want me to. I have also found that as I ask myself these questions, that I am more likely to stop my part of the argument, and try to start healing. 

Another thing to realize is that we need to not limit our caring and generous acts to those who are of our faith. The Samaritan did not, and the couple mentioned earlier did not first check for a temple recommend before administering aid. Likewise, we should not. Jesus did not ask us to help only those we like, or those who we decided were deserving of it, but He asked us to love everyone. Ask for God's help in this, as well as His help in determining what level of aid you should give, and He will bless you for it. 

Truly, as all of us are beggars before God, we often receive grace when we least expect, and least deserve it, so why should we be limited in our giving? 

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

That it is important to follow revelation

Today, Kimberly and I went to the temple. We decided based on the day, that we were going to do initiatory ordinances for the dead. This procedure involves the men and women in completely separate parts of the temple. We decided before we went in to do five family names each. Kimberly has been working on family history, and has a bunch of names of her deceased ancestors who we are currently doing the work for. I asked before we went into the temple which names were a priority, and she gave me the top five. There were a few more in my envelope, Kimberly didn't remember who they were, or how they were attached to the family, so we decided to get them later in interest of time.
When at the temple, I was going through the ordinance, and had one name left of my five. I mentioned to one of the temple workers that this was the case, and that I would go meet my wife afterwards. During the last ordinance, I felt prompted to do one more name. I thought about it, then moved on. However, when I was done, I felt the impression even stronger. I decided to go ahead and do a sixth name, even though Kimberly and I had agreed to five each. During the ordinance, I felt a strong sense of gratitude, as well as the spirit in abundance. After meeting back up with Kimberly, I mentioned the experience. She was curious as to the name, but it didn't ring any bells to her. We went home, and Kimberly pulled up her records to figure out the relationship. I was doing something menial on my phone, and Kimberly said "Oh wow. I did the work for his wife today! I didn't even realize both names were with us."

I testify that revelation is real. Follow it. There is a man in heaven who is just that much closer to being reunited with his wife because I followed a prompting. Had I not followed it, I don't know how long it would have been until I got to his name. I probably would have waited until I had a longer list of names, even then, he may have been missed. Now, he and his wife are our top priority to get their work done.
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

God cares about us in our darkest hours

A decade ago, I was in a lot of pain. It was not physical pain, but at the time I would have traded for physical pain, as that was something I could fight, something I could focus on. No, the pain I was in was much deeper. To many outside the Church, this story may not make a whole lot of sense. Each young man is asked to serve a two year mission in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have mentioned in previous posts that I lost my opportunity to because of my actions. Now, I was raised a missionary. My life was a preparation to serve, to go forth, to bring The Gospel to those in need. I studied, I learned, I worked to live the life that would prepare me for a mission. I read the Book of Mormon, I read the Bible, I worked in every way to prepare to be a missionary. I biked everywhere so I would be able to be a good missionary. When I was approaching 19, I began early morning companion study with three of my friends, I looked for missionary opportunities, I worked at the MTC, I talked to missionaries about their experiences... After submitting my papers, I waited for the mailman every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday... I wanted to go. 

December 21st, 2004. I was sitting at home, in my parent's living room. I was not talking, I was not looking at others, I was not doing anything. I just sat there. I stared at nothing, sometimes breaking down in tears, sometimes just staring. It was my day to report to the MTC, and I was at home. And it was my fault. My whole life, I had worked for that day, and I wasn't where I was supposed to be. Everything in my life had led up to that day, and it was not the day it was supposed to be. All I had were questions, questions to painful to contemplate. Could I go? Would I be able to get to the point that I could go? Would I even be able to find someone who could look past my failure as a missionary? Questions, pain... but no answers. Searching my journals to try to get a glimpse of how I felt; I came across this passage:

"...caught between dreams and realities, I don't know where I am going, or what I am doing.  I have plans and goals that seem almost unattainable, but somehow, I believe deep in my heart that I will get there someday.  Someday, when my dreams become the truth.  Where reality fades into a memory, and where goals become accomplishments.  Someday, a place where I hope to be soon, but I know, that as each day passes, it passes oh too slow.  Patience is what I need now, as I have in other things always.   Patience with others used to be such an easy task, but now their fallacies and follies seem to present themselves right in front of my eyes, only amplified by my misdeeds and problems..."

Now, I am not trying to dwell on my pain too much. I just wanted to set the stage for what I was going through at that time. Happiness was not a word in my vocabulary at the time.

As I was sitting there, feeling crushed, the phone rang. I have a friend who has this tendency to have other people prank call me. (He still does it to this day...) He has a particular fondness for missionaries... and that was who was calling me. I had a sister missionary from Salt Lake City calling me, asking if I was interested in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Now, as I was already a member who was going to go to work at the MTC the next day... I let her know that she had been pranked, and I was already a member. Not wanting to waste the phone call, she asked if she could share a scripture with me, and if I could think of anyone who might need to hear about The Church. I let her know I didn't know anyone, and she shared the scripture with me. Partway through, I had a strong impression that she was going to share a second scripture with me, and that was the one I needed to hear. She paused halfway through the first scripture, and asked if she could share another scripture with me after she finished the first one. I agreed, and she proceeded to share the following:

 27 Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success. (Alma 26:27)

I can't remember how the conversation ended. I can't remember what she said after that. I remember after she hung up, I broke down in tears, but this time, my tears were mixed with those of joy. God had heard my prayers. He had seen me suffering, sad and feeling broken. He saw it fit to reach down, touch the heart of someone else, and give me hope. "...when our hearts were depressed... The Lord comforted us, and said: ...I will give unto you success." Those words hit me harder than any scripture ever hit me. The next two years were anything but easy, and I never did end up going on a mission, but looking at myself now and comparing to where I was then? I would say success is a word I can use in so many areas of my life. 

I testify that God lives and loves us. Nothing is too small, too insignificant, or too trite for Him to care about. He truly loves us, and wants us to be happy. He will bless you with tender mercies as you need them. No, my situation did not instantly improve. I still went through several years of pain and inner hell, but look at what I have gained. I have an amazing wife. I still hold my Church membership. I have the privilege of attending the temple. I again testify of the matchless love of God. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

 

Pride truly is the basis of sin

There are multiple talks on the subject of pride. President Benson gives a incredible talk on the matter in the October 1989 General Conference. I strongly suggest reading it. I also would suggest looking at or listening to Marlin K Jensen's talk from April 2001. Both of these talks speak about pride in a different way than it is often taught. Their focus is pride as a lifestyle, not as a specific sin. The problem they both see with pride is that pride is putting ones needs, decisions, desires, or thoughts before someone else, including God Himself. 

Pride is something I know I struggle with. I am not a cocky person by nature, however, I do struggle with my intellect. I am intelligent. I know that. I can reason through arguments, interpret complex documents, and learn readily. I understand abstract spiritual concepts, and am able to apply them to normal, every day situations. I am excellent at understanding people, and often even making inferences to future behavior. 

However, as a result of all of these things, I easily forget my limits, and often over-step my knowledge. 

That is my "traditional" pride. My pride as defined by President Benson and Marlin K Jensen however, is deeper and more hurtful. I will sometimes do things that I know put myself into bad situations, with the assumption that I will somehow be "special" and not have the inevitable result. When I trust in God however, and do even the little things that He asks of me, I have learned that bigger, better things result. 

I testify that pride comes in many forms, and as quoted from Marlin K Jensen's talk, if you think you have humility; you have lost it. Strive always for humility, always look for ways you can improve, and God will share with you what you need to do. I testify that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the true church, and that the Book of Mormon is true. God is real. Prayers are answered. The powers of the priesthood are real. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

I don't know everything... but that is ok.

Trying to keep this post a little shorter tonight. I feel like I have a tendency to extrapolate quite a bit on my beliefs. Honestly, a lot of what I say and do is me trying to figure things out. But that is ok, I think that is what a lot of us do. Lifehouse even has a song about it; "Trying"

I want to just say this:
I love so much about my life, and I am so happy with so many things. I do deal with problems, I make a LOT of mistakes. I am so imperfect, it is not even funny... but I am trying. I want to do what is right. I want to be a more Christlike person, I want to care about other people before myself. I am working towards this, and in some ways, am improving. I believe that is what life is truly about; how we progress, and how we enjoy the journey. One thing I need to be better about is being less long winded. I have so much to say, and often take other people's time to say it. I guess that is one really cool thing about prayer; I can pray as long as I want, and never have to worry about bothering or boring God.

With that, I want to bear my testimony that God is real. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the true church. Thomas S. Monson is the prophet of God. God answers prayers. The priesthood is real, and miracles do occur today. Revelation is real, and not limited to a select few. The Holy Ghost is a real person who is constantly working to help, inspire, and attest to the reality of God. The Book of Mormon is the gospel of Christ, as is the Bible. If you are studying those, and working to follow the precepts contained, you are on the right path. The prophets speak to us at least twice a year in General Conference; a fact which I love. I encourage you to seek out their voices, learn their messages, and follow their counsel. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ; Amen.

God cares about the "little" things, and wants us to be happy.

Have you ever watched a child at play? Have you seen how they will get excited about the simplest things sometimes, and they are truly, fully ecstatic about something that we see as menial and unimportant. Did you notice that you started to get excited and happy, just by seeing the child get excited? I have. For me, it has happened while hanging out with my closest nephew and niece, the ones that live just over the mountains from me. I love those kids, and always look forward to seeing them. It is fun to spend time with them for a couple of different reasons. One of those reasons is their childish innocence. However, spend a few hours with them, and you see it is not all about the happy things. They will also get really upset about menial things. Something that would hardly phase an adult can be the end of the world to a child.

Well... I think you probably can guess where I am going with this post. One of the reasons we don't get as excited as a child is because we have more life experience, we understand the perspective, we get why things happen (such as a dropped toy breaking, or a funny noise coming from the impact of two objects), and therefore are not as affected deeply by these things. Now, if you extrapolate this further, God probably doesn't get quite as phased by some of the things we deal with. I can almost imagine Him in Heaven; "Oh? You lost your job? That's terrible... Hang on, I'll be with you once I am done helping this plague victim... Right after I finish helping this orphan coping with seeing his parents killed in front of him by terrorists...." Fortunately, God is not limited by time or space, and is able to help everyone, but what can seem like absolute tragedies to us (such as the loss of a job, which is truly tragic, don't get me wrong, I've been through it... it was really hard emotionally) can often seem a lot smaller scale when you consider the grand scheme of things. In say a chunk containing 1,000 years of human history, does it really matter that Joe broke his potter's wheel in 760 AD? It certainly mattered to him, but did it change the course of history? Unlikely.

However, let me remind you of the first part of this post. Remember the happy children who can have their hopes dashed in an instant. How much do you want to help a kid when you see them disappointed, even if you know it really will be ok. How much do you want to get excited with the same child when they discover something that they LOVE? If you look at Facebook, people are posting videos of their children having fun discoveries all the time, and loving the moment with them. Now back to the "adult" side of life... Can you imagine that God would be even more thrilled when you decide to ask that girl to marry you, when you ace that bar exam, when you get that raise you have been working so hard for. Can you imagine that God would also hold and comfort you when you lose a friend, make a huge mistake, or watch a loved one suffer? I believe that He would.

In my limited experience, I can tell you that God cares. He cares about more than just our eternal welfare (which is ultimately what He cares the most about), but He also is quite involved in our lives. Now, I'm not saying He will always directly intervene and fix things for us (although He will sometimes), as you need to let the child figure things out sometimes, so does God. However, just because you let your child work through something that was hard for them, it does not mean you stopped caring about that child. It does not mean you were not rooting for the kid, hoping they would be successful, and looking forward to their joy when they did ultimately find success.

I believe that God does care about our lives in a deeply meaningful way. Most of the things we pray about are really unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but are important to us. Therefore, they are important to God. Why? Because He loves us with a perfect love, beyond the love we even feel for our own children. He sees us in a deeper way than we see ourselves, and He wants us to be happy. Not the temporary thrills that the world would have us desire, but truly, deeply, happy. Sometimes this involves our lives going well. Sometimes this involves our lives going not so well, but in all things, God gives us a way to be happy. I believe this to be true, and try to live this principle in all that I do. I invite you to also seek the good in your life, and look for ways to be happy, knowing that God is also hoping you will find those. I say this in the name of Christ, Amen.

God loves us no matter what

As mortal beings, we are subject to the fall. What does this mean? It means we make mistakes. It means we will know what is right, know why it is right, and why we should do it, but then we will still choose to do something else, because it sounds fun, or we know it will feel good. Immediately after failing to measure up to what we are supposed to, we have a tendency to feel inadequate, sad, angry, and like a failure. We often will even assign hateful intentions to our actions, and make ourselves seem worse than we actually are. We will even question whether or not God still loves us, and if He is mad at us. Now, I do believe that we can disappoint God, but I question how deeply we truly can. Very often, I think we overestimate the level of frustration which we cause God. I think more often than we believe, He has already forgiven us, even before we realize just how wrong we are. How is this possible? God sees us as we truly are, and how we can become. God does not limit His mercy to second chances, third chances, fourth chances, or even thousandth chances. He has set the bar at "And as often as my people repents will I forgive them of their trespasses against me."

What exactly constitutes repentance? This is a question which I am still struggling to find the answer to. I once had a definition of repentance as a complete absence of sin, a perfect lifestyle which did not involve any wrong choices, and certainly not any severe sins. I am starting to wonder if this truly is what is defined as repentance. Yes, there are sins which need to be entirely removed from your life, however, I think there are different levels of repentance which are different levels of difficulty to attain. I think one of the hardest parts of repentance is to forgive yourself. It is next to impossible to convince your greatest critic, you, that you truly have repented and changed. It takes a lot of doing, a lot of choosing the right, and a good portion of pain before you will be willing to accept your own repentance. However, I truly feel that this is a important part of repentance. I think that it is impossible to repent when you still see yourself as a vile sinner, for as you think, you act.

Ironically, in order to forgive yourself, there is a strong need to feel that you have repented. I think this is because whether we like it or not, we have a deep relationship with ourselves, and like the spouse of an abusive partner, we are scared that the pain will never stop. Unlike this kind of situation, we can't leave. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, you will always be there with yourself. So in this light, it is important to realize that we need to love ourselves. This is so often quoted in sophistic sayings plastered over inspirational backgrounds which none of us really believe, but we re-post and hope to one day feel. I think that loving yourself is so much deeper than a pleasant saying, a look in the mirror with a smile, or taking care of your body. Yes, it involves all of these things, but I think the best way to strengthen your relationship with yourself is to serve others. How much do we love those who serve? How easy is it to think highly of someone who puts other's needs before their own? We often praise mothers, military, missionaries, ministers, and Christ himself. How much easier do you think it would be to love yourself, if you knew that person you see in the mirror is constantly working selflessly for others? How much easier do you think it would be to assign positive attributes to that person, if you knew of their purity of heart, and love for others? I think this is how God can love us, even in the vilest of sins. He sees us for what we really are, what we really can become, and while He does see the bad in us, He also sees the good, and how much more powerful the good is. We need to remember that good is far more powerful than evil, and that if we strive to do good, it will grow and expand within us to the consuming of our beings.

I think that the most powerful tool in our arsenal for good is the Atonement. We cannot be as God would have us be without it. We cannot change ourselves without Jesus' help. We can see ourselves as God sees us, as Christ sees us, as we truly are when we are able to look through the lens of the Atonement. Why would God send down His son if we were a lost and fallen people, damned to fail again and again, with no hope? He would not. Christ suffered for your sins, He suffered for your pains, sorrows, and afflictions. He knows intimately precisely why you chose to sin, and He gets it. He also knows how to get back out. We are not here to fail, but to succeed gloriously. We are Gods in embryo, with divine destiny and purpose. This is why I chose a starry background for my blog, I think seeing the stars stirs within us all a desire to strive for something more than we are, and reminds us of the paradox of man. We are nothing, yet we are everything.

I again testify to the reality of God, the purity of service, and the holy calling which is serving your fellow man. As Christ did, do also. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.



See also:
Mosiah 26:30
3 Nephi 10:6
Moroni 6:8
Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence
See Others as They May Become (See YOURSELF as you may become)
The Savior Wants to Forgive
Laborers in the Vineyard
The Atonement Can Clean, Reclaim, and Sanctify Our Lives

Sin is a temporary state of being

Today in Sunday school, we were talking about our savior, Jesus Christ. Prior to the meeting, my wife and I were given the assignment to find our favorite scriptures in the New Testament, specifically one which regarded Jesus Christ. Now, I will openly admit that I am far more familiar with the Book of Mormon, having only been through the New Testament a couple of times cover to cover. However, I have been, like all Latter Day Saints, studying it since I was a young child, as it is a wonderful set of scripture which contains a lot about Jesus, his life, his reign and ministry.

The scripture I chose to share was from John 8, where Jesus is brought a woman who was taken in adultery, "In the very act!" as the Pharisees declared. Now, very often, the focus of this scripture is the fact that the Pharisees are attempting to confuse and destroy Christ by pitting His teachings against the law of Moses (which, incidentally, was also his teachings, but the Pharisees did not understand that). However, as a follower of Christ, I know that there is no danger of Him being stopped or confused by a design of man, therefore, it can be reasonably assumed that He would come up with a quick solution that would bless all those involved (as He did). During our meeting, I took the perspective of the sinner, who was brought before this man, being judged of her peers, knowing she was wrong, and very well the penalty for her sins; she was to be stoned and killed for her mistake. What Christ did next is of great importance. First, he showed the accusers that they truly had no right to judge her by inviting whomever was not a sinner among them to cast the first stone. After they left, "convicted by their own conscience", He turned to the woman and said "Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?" I can only imagine at this point that this woman was probably still tearful, scared, but bewildered, and beginning to feel hope. She answered that there was no man that was condemning her. Christ then forgave her, but told her to go her way and to sin no more.

Now, one thing we must remember is that Christ was not only merciful to the sinner, but to the Pharisees. He did not condemn them openly, He did not tell them of their sins, although surely he knew each and every one. He gave them a chance to repent, and to stop from committing a even more heinous sin than she had committed. He gave them the opportunity to not murder a woman which He saw as innocent in His sight, for He saw her as she really was, not as the state she was in. Likewise, there may have been a Pharisee who would have later repented and become a follower of Christ, but had he stoned this woman, would have taken a step in the direction of the unpardonable. The scriptures do not have an account of this, and it is likely that each of the Pharisees went on to live evil, sinful lives; but it is possible that they did not. It is even possible that every one of that group which accused the woman repented of their sins and became followers of Christ. Unfortunately, we do not know. We do know that not one of them was past feeling, as if they were, they would have cast stones and disregarded their conscience entirely, and as long as there is a glimmer of light in the soul of man, there is hope for redemption.

In this case, focusing entirely on the fact that Christ was great at debating, even to be able to stop a debate before it started with a single phrase causes you to miss the really important part of this account. Christ forgave the sinner. He taught the Pharisees. This leads me to a perspective I have observed among some in The Church which sorrows me in multiple ways. There are those who have never committed a major sin, have done everything they were supposed to do, followed the path of righteousness with exactness. This is extremely commendable, as it is extremely difficult to do this. Those who are this way, and remain humble, teachable, and loving, I commend you.

However, there are those who look down upon the sinners. They go as far as to be annoyed when they hear of those who have been redeemed from their sins, thinking that undue praise and glory are given to those who have returned. They are like the son who did not stray in the parable of the prodigal son. I am deeply saddened by this for multiple reasons. Firstly, I have strayed. I have gone through periods of inactivity, I have come very close to leaving The Church. Because of my mistakes, I lost the opportunity to serve a two year full time mission, a fact which haunts me even to this day, ten years after I did not serve. I went through about a period of a year and a half where I was terribly frightened and convinced that God did not exist, and had stacks of evidence which I could use to "prove" that He did not. I have been through hell of mind and soul. However, I have also felt the sweet peace that accompanies redemption and the return to God.

The main reason I feel for people who have a negative outlook on sinners is the fact that they are missing out on some amazing experiences. I think it is hard to find someone who understands and appreciates the Atonement more than someone who has been redeemed as a result of it. I know that there are those who have committed heinous sins, been through a personal hell, and were scarred because of it, who have tasted redemption, and now hold so fast to the rod of iron that there is no shaking them from it. These are some of the most humble, amazing people I have ever met. Yes, there are those amazing people who never have tasted the evil of the world who are also just as firm and strong with their grip on the iron rod, and have a deep understanding of the Atonement, I am not denying this. But it goes both ways. God allows all to be redeemed, and whether your experiences of good or your experiences of evil lead you to God, it matters not. What matters is the ultimate end, the faith which you hold at the end of it all.

I again testify that God is real, He is present, and He loves each of us. He wants us to repent, and He will redeem all who turn to Him. I testify this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Temple blessings

Today, my wife and I had the opportunity to go visit the temple. We had actually been planning on attending today anyway, but we were invited by a member of our ward last night to assist them in performing baptisms for the dead this morning. In our temples, we believe that we are able to perform ordinances for those who have passed on, so that they may have the opportunity to continue to progress, even though they are beyond the veil.

The Vernal temple

The Provo temple

Because of this invitation, my wife and I got up early this morning (early for me at least... I'm rarely up before 8, this had me waking up at 6), and drove to Vernal to attend the temple. It always is a privilege to attend the temple, and baptisms for the dead hold a special place in my heart. I have fond memories when I was a youth attending the Provo temple to do these ordinances. Today, my place was not in active participation in the ordinances, but I acted as recorder. My job was to make sure that every name on the list we had was given the opportunity to be included in the ordinances, then record that the ordinance had been performed. Initially, I was somewhat sad to not be actively participating, but then I felt a quick, quiet comfort that I was. Like so many areas in our lives, it is easy to see others roles as more important than the one we are currently playing. It is easy to look at other callings, and see people in more visible roles as more important than yourself. This is something we need to be careful about. As President Dieter F. Uchtdorf explains in his October 2011 General Conference talk,
"At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember- you matter to Him!"
These words of a prophet are true in every sense of the word. God calls us to serve in the way in which He needs us to, not necessarily the way we want to serve. However, when we are called upon to perform a task, serve someone else, or serve in a calling, we need to remember that it was God Himself who is asking us to do this. He speaks through His servants, whether they be prophets, priesthood leaders, or family members or loved ones who are giving us priesthood blessings. Sometimes these calls come in the form of feelings in our hearts, usually accompanied by a peaceful feeling. However these calls come, they come as instruction which God expects and hopes that we will follow. I can tell you from personal experience that I have been blessed when I have followed God's instructions. Today, as I recorded the baptisms, I was reminded of other times I have been blessed in amazing ways for following God. Some of these experiences are too sacred or personal to share, but I can testify that God has shown me things, even hidden things which were of direct benefit to me.

I testify that God lives, that He loves us, and will give each of us a work for us to do, and if we follow Him, He will share light with us. The more that you follow God, the more He will lead you. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the holy son of God, that He lived, He still lives, and will return to this earth someday. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.



If you want to read more, here is a link to President Uchtdorf's talk:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/you-matter-to-him?lang=eng

For more reading about how God speaks to us in these latter days:
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/1.38?lang=eng#37 (The voice of the prophets)
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/9.8?lang=eng#7 (Personal revelation)

Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon

Near the end of last year, I felt impressed that I needed to start and finish the Book of Mormon before the close of the year. I followed this impression, and again, found many great and wonderful things contained in the pages of that book. I find it fascinating that every time I go through, I literally am finding passages that I didn't even know existed. I have been through it personally at least 9 times, and with my family close to 30. I also see things from a perspective that I hadn't seen before, situations which had different meaning the times before. This may come from experience, but more likely it comes from a combination of experience along with inspiration from God. Every time I go through, I am further convinced that Joseph Smith did not write the book. Joseph Smith was a translator, not an author. This is further confirmed to me when I read some of Joseph Smith's other writings, and see the stark differences between them. Phraseology changes throughout The Book of Mormon, and it is clear when one authors work is finished and another one begins. However, as I went through the Book of Mormon this time, I noticed something particular. I noticed how timely much of the doctrine contained must have been for Joseph Smith. Mosiah in particular struck me, as it contained an account of how to begin a church from scratch. There are almost step by step instructions on what needs to be done, in what order even, to organize a church of God. There are instructions on how to baptize, how to confirm the Holy Ghost, how to share the priesthood, how to proselyte, how and how often to organize, how to preach the gospel in meetings, and even how to deal with a government and people who were hostile towards your cause. Mind you, this was translated prior to the actual organization of The Church, as the Book of Mormon was translated almost entirely between April and June of 1829, and The Church was not formally organized until April 1830. Joseph Smith was not writing this in reaction to events transpiring around him, he was translating a work which would continue to have significance for at least the next one hundred and eighty years. I firmly believe that the significance of The Book of Mormon will continue to be shown and found by those who seek it.

To those who may be reading this and are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I invite you to read or listen to the works I have mentioned. I am confident that as you read it, you will find what I have found; that its words are true, and that your life can be changed by following the precepts therein. I am confident in stating this, as I have had it revealed to me by means which I cannot explain by any earthy means.
To those who are members of The Church, I invite you to consider your Book of Mormon studies. Think of how it has benefited you, and ponder on the significance of what you have read and learned. I invite you to begin anew if it has been a while since you have spent time in those pages. I am confident that you also will find comfort and peace in those pages.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

First post!

Hello!

So, kinda as a new years resolution, and partially because I have been feeling the need to do something like this for a little while, I am beginning this new blog. My goal is to daily post something inspiring, something that can be of benefit to someone else. As I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I intend to do this through my testimony. As I go throughout the year, I want to share some of my beliefs, why I believe the way I do, and hopefully share some hope, love, faith, and joy with others. One thing you will not see on this blog is my decrying anyone else of their religions, as I firmly am against attacking other people's beliefs. I also would ask for the same courtesy. Feel free to comment, share your own experiences, and your own beliefs, but please do not tear down or mock.

As this is my first post, I will start with simply sharing my general testimony. I am a son of God. I believe this to be literal. I believe that there is revelation, God sharing His voice with mankind today. I believe in the church I belong to. I believe that Thomas S. Monson is a prophet, and is leading The Church in righteousness. I believe in the Book of Mormon. I also firmly believe in the power of the priesthood, as well as the power of prayer. I testify that by reading the Book of Mormon, and following the precepts founds therein, you can also gain a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel.
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

As it is late, I am not going to elaborate on any particular point in my testimony, and would like to mention that this is not normally the format I take when bearing my testimony. I usually relate gospel topics to experiences, or things I have felt and know to be true. I look forward to posting every day, and hope that someone finds this blog, and finds it to be helpful and inspiring. However, if no one ever reads a single post, that is just fine as well. I also know that I will find great personal growth by simply declaring my feelings and thoughts, with the possibility that someone may find it and read it.

Thank you, and may God be with you in 2015!